If your ex wasn’t them, would you still be close friends?

Na’ah…I don’t think so. Call me old-fashion or bitter, but logically, I don’t think we can be close friends with our exes. be friends, YES. Close friends, NO.

Ah, before you take me in the wrong way, it might be possible to stay close with your ex, if your ex was your VERY BEST friend, and your relationship was a total incident. In that case, yeah, I think you can probably always come back to best friends. From best friends to lovers to best friends is much more doable than from strangers to lovers to best friends.

Well, I know there are lots of depends on why people break up, but whatever it is, break up means break up. No matter how much laughter, tear and everything you’ve shared together, there will be time for you to take those moments and experiences, put them in a box, leave it alone and move on.

Of course it is possible to have a casual relationship with ex, calling for birthdays and inquiring about their family, but not close friends for sure.

In most cases of break up, there will be one bad person. Unless both of you are in the same position and can end the relationship with full of understanding and taking lightheartedly the fact that one person does not want the other person, well…it will always leave one monster.

And how do you think it feels for the deserted one listening to you talking, as if nothing ever happen between you guys? Sharing your happy moments as if they are themselves happy campers?

I’ve been in both positions of being a dumper and a deserted one.
I know that as a dumper I always want to feel less guilty by offering friendship, and it is comfortable to know that we’re still having our exes around, but come on, reverse the position, you’d know that you need time to be alone, be separated from the dumper and let time solve the broken heart.

And by the time the heart is healed, I think time also has stretched some distances in between that just can’t be bridged, so you of course can’t be that close anymore, yeah?
Calling your ex when you were lost, in the middle of nowhere? ah…come on, are you secretly wishing something will linger again or you don’t have enough friends or new lover to count on?

Let me tell you one thing about the ex who still wants to be your closest friends, it is either they don’t want to lose you and your love, they are not happy with what they are having now and want some pieces of you or even the whole of you back. Or they really are hoping you guys can be what you used to be: lovers.

Other wise, trust me, ask yourself, would you be able to remain close friend?
I would if my exes were either Johnny Depp or Christian Bale. Unfortunately they are not. They happened to be some people, I have put in the box while I am leading a happy life with my current boyfriend. Undoubtedly, I will not bother sending them postcards when I am traveling the way I used to when we were lovers. We’re not even close friends, why should I, yeah?