As the days turn into months and months turn into year and then into decades…I can sense that I will probably never get cured from my Peter Pan syndrome.
How is that? I was updating myself about Thailand politic turmoil, it was begun as finding a way to calm my nerves. I'm anxious about the current situation at the airport. And also in regards to the upcoming concert of Manic Street Preachers –which sadly oh so sadly, was cancelled. As I was reading the news, there was something ticking in my head and popping out a picture of -somewhat I think- the future.
No, no, no, I can't read the future or I suddenly got the vision of the future, but it was more like a eureka moment. Well, maybe not eureka, because I didn't find any enlightenment. It's just that I realized if the closing of Swarnabhumi airport was prolonged, it could lead to a huge decline in tourism and business sectors. Then the country might face a huge drag down in economic growth. And if there was an economy crisis, businesses would cut the first non-essential things, like advertising budget.
This reminded me of the regional financial crisis in South East Asia circa 1998 and massive advertising crisis circa 2005. In 2005 I had a difficult time finding a job and thousand of advertising people lost their jobs. So, I'm afraid that I could lose my job if the condition kept going and I don't have any back-up plans. What I currently make is enough to support my mom back home but...I haven't started any investment. In a bigger picture, it's called a future / retirement plan.
What? what? what? I am a 27 years old and acting like one!
It's not that I don't want to be mature but I think in my simple mind, I don't want to worry so much about the future. I know it's almost impossible, but I'm just worried that if I'm worrying too much, I start to lose focus of what's important. Worrying about the future will make you worry about today too. And the fear of thinking you probably won't have what you have now, can make you a greedy person. The fear will drive you to, for example, starting collect two things instead of one. You'll buy more because you know tomorrow you might not be able to buy it. And before you know it, you'll want more than what you need. And for what? for something that might or might not happen tomorrow. You get what I mean?
I'm not an avid bible reader and I'm also not a religious person, I do pray and I go to the church, so I believe that God exists. And the God that I believe takes a good care of me. Everything happens for a reason, so maybe we should focus more on today rather than fear tomorrow. For tomorrow, it may come and it may not come. Maybe this is something we call "to be sufficient" or "feel enough" ?
My-o-my, here I was when I went to see the end of the world
Irvine, 26 years 10 months 30 days.
*pic from ffffound.com
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